Bihari Essay "Indian Cow" (PLS GO THROUGH THIS!!)
You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this. This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC(IAS)Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got child.] He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such attachment]
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza] , in hand and drying in the sun.
Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.
The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives. This is the cow.......
We are informed that the candidate passed the exam, and is now an IAS, is bihar in somewhere..[sorry somewhere in Bihar]
(PLEASE DO WRITE UR COMMENTS BELOW!!) -DHIRAJ.
DO U WANT TO ORDER ONE FOR UR GIRLFRIEND WHEN SHE DEMANDS A CELLPHONE WITH CAMERA..??Universal law:
"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money ".
First law:
"a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girlin love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unlessany external agent (brother or father of the gal) comes into play andbreak the legs of the boy."
Second law:
"the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy isdirectly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy andthe direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of thebank balance."
Third law:
"the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals."
Two persons sitting side by side using scraps to communicate with each other.
HEIGHT OF COWARDICE:
Two persons fighting through scraps.
HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS:
Receiving no scaps for a week.
HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION:
The scrap server being down.
HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love scrap and doing a 'Send All.
HEIGHT OF ACHIEVEMENT:
A person sending scaps to a girl wanting to become friends and getting
a reply.
HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS:
A person sending scap to himself.
HEIGTHT OF EXPECTATION:
Sending Indian cricket team an e-mail, wishing them to win a match.
HEIGHT OF REPETITION:
Forwarding a scrap to someone and receiving the same scrap forwarded back to you by some one in the receiving chain.
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11. DUBAI
----10. DUBAI
----
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8. MOSCOW
----7. MOSCOW
----6. KIEW
----5. SAINT PETERSBERG
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3. BARCELONA
----2. TIVOLI
----1. INDIA
PLEASE LEAVE UR COMMENTS BELOW!!-DHIRAJ.
---3. Macao,
Intl Airport
---4. Kuujjuaraapik,
Quebec
---5. A rock,
Off the coast of Greenwood (Canadian Military Labrador Helicopter)
SPECIAL THANKS TO Mr. D.K.MEHTA FOR THIS MAIL..
"Youth is an Attitude, Not an Age"
Gone are the days!!
When The school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and
benches!
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books
and notes!
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learnt writing with
slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!
When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color pencils and finally sketch pens!
When we started calculating
first with tables and then with
Clarke's tables and advanced to
Calculators and computers!
When we chased one another in the
corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms
Drenched in sweat!
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds,
under the trees and even in cycle sheds!
When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!
When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!
When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,
And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!
When few played
"kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
While others simply played
"book cricket" in the
Confines of classroom!
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!
When we used to
watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!
When few rushed at 3:45 to
"Conquer" window seats in our School bus!
While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint",
"kulfi", " milk ice !" and "sharbat !" at 4o Clock!
Gone are the days :
Of Sports Day,
and the annual School Day ,
And the one-month long
preparations for them.
Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most
enjoyed holidays after them!
Gone are the days
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when
We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!
We learnt,
We enjoyed,
We played,
We won,
We lost,
We laughed,
We cried,
We fought,
We thought.
With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more!
Gone are the days
When we used
to talk for hours with our friends!
Now we don't have time to say a `Hi'!
Gone are the days
When we played games on the road!
Now we
Code on the road with laptop!
Gone are the days
When we saw stars
Shining at Night!
Now we see stars when our code doesn't
Work!
Gone are the days
When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!
Now we chat in chat rooms.....!
Gone are the days
Where we
studied just to pass!
Now we study to save our job!
Gone are the days
Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!
Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!
Gone are the days
Where we shouted on the road!
Now we don't shout even at home
Gone are the days
Where we got lectures from all!
Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....!!
Gone are the days
But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and
Ever and ever and ever .....
Gone are the Days.... But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!
NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE,
DONT FORGET TO
LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL EXISTS.........
"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a gift to be enjoyed"* To laugh until it hurts your stomach.
* To find mails by the thousands when you return from a vacation.
* To go for a vacation to some pretty place.
* To listen to your favorite song in the radio.
* To go to bed and to listen while it rains outside.
* To leave the! shower and find that the towel is warm.
* To clear your last exam.
* To receive a call from someone, you don't see a lot, but you want to.
* To find money in a pant that you haven't used since last year .
* To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making faces.:)))
* Calls at midnight that last for hours.:))
* To laugh without a reason.
* To accidentally hear somebody say something good about you.
* To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours.
* To hear a song that makes you remember a special person.
* To be part of a team.
* To watch the sunset from the hill top.
* To make new friends.
* To feel butterflies! in the stomach every time that you see that person.
* To pass time with your best friends.
* To see people that you like, feeling happy.
* To use a sweater of the person that you like and find that it still smells of their perfume.
* See an old friend again and to feel that the things have not changed.
* To take an evening walk along the beach.
* To have somebody tell you that he/she loves you.
* To laugh .......laugh........and laugh ....... remembering stupid things done with stupid friends.
These are the best moments of life....
Let us learn to cherish them..
.Aur ye hai mentos Zindagi......
Dimaag Ki Batti jala de....!!!!Apni akal lagade....!!!!
Coding hai waste....!!!!
Trust only COPY, PASTE!!!!
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others 
DID IT MAKE U THINK OF UR SCHOOL DAYS..?? SEND ME UR COMMENTS BELOW!!
Ramya was about to leave office after finishing her work.
(R): "Yes, I can, I need your password"
MORAL OF THE STORY: Change your password! NOW!
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